Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
