I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
he shaved USA in his pubs
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
