Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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