I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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