just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
