yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
