your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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