after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
