So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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