You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
