I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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