Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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