i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
