I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
