it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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