butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
