He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
