He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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