before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
