I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize