Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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