oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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