Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
