I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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