Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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