I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
