i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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