One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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