That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
