i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
