He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
