I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
