i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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