I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
