So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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