we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
