he told me I talked like a deaf person
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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