he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
