69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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