did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
