but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
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She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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