I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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