hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
