she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
