Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
