He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
