Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
