Duck Duck Cougar?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
