This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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