My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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