Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I want to fling myself into the sun
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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