he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
