Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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