Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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