He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
