Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
