I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize