I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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