I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's blow job season.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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