he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
