And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
