i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
