I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
