I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize