Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
