I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I am spending my child support on dildos
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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