Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I believe in your delicious
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
