literally had 100 drinks last night.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
