just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
